3 little birds

Today was glorious. I am honoring who i am, my needs and dreams, my desires and whims, in ways i have never done before.
I had my first session with my personal trainer, i am equipping myself with a new knowledge and insight into my body. Apparently i have weak lower abdominals. Who knew? I'm excited about this new level of fitness. Loving the muscle tone that is reflected back at me. I see now, why this is so addictive.
Also, had my first counselling session. Just working through some things that have long needed to be worked through.
Got booked for 10 more editorial pages!
I feel.......beautiful......

self-portraits

don't be a lion

I met a friend from waaaay back for dinner and reminiscence last night. It's always cool seeing someone's opinion of you, change before you. Like watching the selves we knew from 8 years ago, which were up until that point, still alive in each others memory, having a foothold in the present because that's what we remembered last, dissolving away, leaving our older more grounded selves just sitting and eating Thai food, and talking.
That girl I used to be? I am acknowledging that I can leave her now. That she doesn't need to come with me. But more important than that, i can stop running away from her.
Later, at an impromptu stop at a party for Trace magazine, ghosts glide by me, some saying my name, and as I struggle to place them from my past, I smile and make talk very small.

Words for the masses, on the off-chance that the masses might read this. (1st in a series)
1. Don't come telling me you want a 'smokey-eye" because you're going to some office 'do' at some naff club that night, then when i do it, complain its too dark, because you usually only wear mascara and chapstick.
2. Don't sit in my makeup chair and start coughing a phlegmy cough, and boldly answer 'yes', to my question of, 'are you sick?' Stay your sick-ass at home. Away from me.

watching....Phoenix Nights, season 1....."Jesus Wept!"
flat-sitting North West London
loving every minute of it

photos later

Strictly for my ninjas

I wish i'd taken this photo...

I had no idea my body was so powerful. I go from trying to achieve 'enlightened bliss' in the morning, to kicking some invisible ass by the evening, In body combat class, I am a fighting demon. In the same fantasy world that has me starring in the remake of Flashdance, I keep thinking the teacher is going to come up to me afterwards and beg me to fight professionally for their team because he's so blinded by my ability. (hihi)
I picked up my prints today. These are images I've looked at over and over again, but seeing them 10 by 12 inches like that, is wonderful. It feels like it's all coming together.
Riding backwards in the coach to Oxford, the aroma of spring flowers begins to infuse through the vents. The sprawling fields on either side are now either jade green or the most vibrant yellow. Stepping back out into the world, the blossom petal confetti is everywhere, before me and in the air. Stuck in traffic now, the amber evening sun still burns in the distance. I take a deep breath...and inhale my world.

listening to the Arctic Monkeys
wishing i'd never rented 24 hour Party People

and so it is

Summer came suddenly, completely bypassing spring.
It stayed for 2 days then left me with rain.
I lay out in the garden like it was my job. I am finally brown again.

Here's what I miss today;
Climate continuity
Mexican food

a bugs life

I am sitting still in the garden, waiting for the clouds to pass so i can pimp the sun for some last minute early evening rays. In my peripheral vision, something enters the garden, and I turn and meet the yellow gaze of a large glossy-furred black cat. He sizes me up, and figures, what the heck, continuing forward on his short cut across the lawn, only slightly faster.
At glorious yoga this morning, my teacher, who may be some kindof angel for me, looked over, smiled, and said 'You've come a long way...'
Later, as she walked among us, she pushed her knee gently into my spine to lengthen it. 'Don't be defeated', she told me.
Her words resonate.