and so on and so forth, subsection 5

I eat all the biscuits with the dark chocolate first, then the milk when I'm desperate in the middle of the night. But never the white chocolate. I can't stand its cloying sickly taste.
Blue cheese on ryvita garnished with red chilli jam, roast potatoes with thyme, caramelized bananas with Ben and Jerry Vanilla icecream. Mince pies with double cream with a hint of Courvoissier.
Christmas. Christmas is over for another year.
(wa-hey!)



Copenhagen
There is candlelight glowing, luminescent, outside doorways and shops, behind glassfronts of restaurants. There is warm light coming from everywhere. It's as if this place was made for Christmas. Stopping, awkwardly, on my too high bicycle, in the freezing cold, I am happy.

Lessons
I am learning, that relationships are mirrors held up in front of us, reflecting back our true selves. And whilst it's wonderful and giddying to see your best shining back at you, it's better, i think, to see the things we maybe don't want to. The things that make us question our firmly held beliefs about ourselves, those less PR-friendly behaviours and thought patterns.
The trick is, not to steep oneself in a mire of self-pity at your less than perfect self, but to love yourself even harder than before.
The moment we accept these so-called flaws in ourselves, we can stop railing against the poor sods who are holding up those mirrors.

I am a fussy eater, I am messy beyond all belief most of the time and I leave things to the very last minute. But you know what? I'm bloody marvellous anyway.

in the blink of an eye

It's is 11.30PM on a Monday night, and I receive a text asking if I can work the following day.
Less than 12 hours later, I am driving back to London prematurely, eating my Mums porridge out of a plastic container on my lap and fielding calls. My mind is ahead of me, so much to do.
7 hours later, after landing in Nice, France, I am in a taxi travelling to Monaco, then checking into the rather magnificent Hotel Hermitage. It stands impressively between the Prada and the Ferragamo store, adorned with blue fairy lights and old school grandeur. I don't know whether to run the deepest bath ever with the Bulgari goodies, order room service
or go out and take photos. It's already 9PM.
Off I go on my wander around these French Disney streets, virtually no traffic, foot or otherwise, but somehow totally safe-feeling. I remove my long winding red scarf-it's too mild-and find the sea. Lights twinkle from the many houses built all over the hilly landscape, and there must be a hundred yachts in the harbour, all parked and sexy.
Back at the hotel, room service arrives on a moving tray that opens up into a table. White linen and a rose, it is served with a flourish.

The next day, the sun sparkles all day, a flawless sky as we shoot beside the ocean. It's beyond beautiful.

A late lunch, back in Nice along the promenade, I absorb the changing sun, the palm trees, the quickening of the breeze, the easiness of a place like this, and say my silent thankyou.
I remember to stay present in that moment, filling up my cup of sunshine for the coming weeks of grey.
Wow. This is my career, this is what I get paid to do, how awesome is that?
A simple text message, a phonecall, and all the cards shuffle around again, your hand changes just like that. And if you're willing to experience a little discomfort, to meet opportunities with a firm yes, and to truly appreciate the fullness of life, then the payoff is bigger than you'd ever expect...

Miracles

So there is a part in The Secret, the audio version, where Rhonda Byrnes talks about a man who decides to visualize a feather in his mind, appearing before him, a feather that when he saw it in real life, he would recognize it as the Universe sending it directly to him.
Some days or weeks later, whilst in New York City, he is prompted to look down at the ground, and there lies, that very same feather of his imagination.
I thought I would try this out, so, a week or so ago, I imagined that I would find a £5 note on the ground. Every now and then it would cross my mind, and I would have a quick glance around, on the way back to the car, but nothing, just the usualstreet debris.

Yesterday, whilst in the supermarket, when it was the furthest from my mind, as I was paying for Lilies for my mother, the cashier handed my nectar card back to me, and it fell over the edge and onto the floor. Bending down to retrieve it, I see it! A crumpled up £5 note on the ground next to it.
It takes just a couple of moments to realize it hasn't dropped from my own purse, and seconds later, to stand, bewildered and overwhelmed, realizing what had happened. It was like a religious experience, total utter clarification of all that i've been practising and learning about these past few years. The moment contained synchronicity and truth and the most immense power. Awesome.


Later that evening, as marineboy and I were trying to find change to put in the parking meter, a very helpful man, whilst offering parking advice, explained his plight to us. He had lost his place to live. He didn't directly ask, but how could you not?
I look in my purse, but I have no change at all. I look up at marineboy and words exchange in the form of thoughts. I reach in and pull out that still crumpled ₤5 note, and give it to the man.

All my dreams, all I have ever wanted, is manifest. I have an announcement to make. But i am saving it, savouring it, if you will, until New Year.

For those of you that have been with me for the journey thus far...this is phase 2, the best one yet. Get ready.